Mahal Kita

I remember exactly when, where and how he said it to me.
I don't remember what we were wearing but I remember the look in his eyes very very clearly.

These tears are not because of the pain I feel inside.
Its because of what was lost.
And because of the courage that I may never be able to find.

Please don't hate me because I am weak.

I keep telling myself; 'Mind over matter dear. Mind over matter.'
There is so much my mind can do.
There is so much I would love to achieve.

Please don't hate me because I've failed.

New clothes, new make up, new phone, new books.
New routine to life, new plans, new.. me?
I've been so busy trying to change so much around me thinking that this part will change as well.
But late at night, when I'm all alone, when I am tired out from the day,
There is only one wish.
The one I mutter silently when its 11:11 pm, to the brightest star in the sky, to God at times.

I keep telling myself, once, just once; you'll feel so much better.
He chucked them away when he found them.
I keep telling the other side of me no; I must not. Its the only thing I can do now.
But I'm scared that I cant hold off much longer.
Its very tempting but I am going to try to hold off for as long as possible.
That's a promise.
One that you wont know about.

'It takes grown ups to make relationships work.'
One more chance '07

I've changed.
Have you?